Nebula
by ReneRoo82
Summary: The story begins on the eve of Renesmee's 'sixteenth' birthday. The Cullens have moved to Alaska. What happens when the foundations of what Renesmee believes are shaken? Not a 'Ness finding herself story'. I wrote this ages ago and never posted it - so this is a first.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One **

"It won't be quite that terrible Renesmee," Edward smiled as he sat at the grand piano in the centre of the spacious living room, preparing to play her mother's lullaby.

Renesmee threw aside the dog eared copy of Pride and Prejudice she had been blankly staring at for the past ten minutes, it landed open and face down on the highly polished parquet floor, "Honestly Dad, do you think that you might at least _try_ to stop listening to my thoughts? It's creepy...and just plain wrong! There are some things I don't want you to know!"

Edward pressed his lips together, trying desperately to suppress a smirk. He knew exactly how riled Renesmee became when he commented on her private thoughts; but, quite honestly, he was glad that he could hear her thoughts – what better gift could a father ask for?

"I'm sorry." He said for her benefit, his fingers moving to the keys of the piano.

Renesmee scowled darkly, "No you're not! I've never seen you so smug. It's a good thing I love you Dad..." she trailed off, threw her hands in the air and stalked from the room.

Edward sighed; he had been rather worried for Renesmee recently. The frequency with which she thought about a particular individual had spiked rather dramatically. He feared for her, as a father should – as Charlie had feared for Bella, Edward's wife and Renesmee's mother. He and Bella had always known that the time that they had to call Renesmee theirs was finite, but even so she was still their little girl. Perhaps that was what had influenced their decision to leave Forks when they did, so that they could prolong that time. They had known that leaving Forks and relocating to Alaska would have a significant impact on Renesmee's happiness; but their time in Forks had come to an end.

He vividly remembered the day that they had left: a 'fourteen' year old Renesmee had cried as if her tears sprung from an infinite source, her hands clinging to Jacob, her eyes alert to every move that he made as if the sun rose and set with him. Despite her intelligence, not one member of the Cullen family had been able to reason with her and Jacob had not helped, he had protested and issued angry threats from the moment he had discovered their plans until the day they left. Edward had tried to explain why Jacob could not come with them, but it had simply made her cling even tighter to him. Eventually, Emmett had wrestled her away while Sam, Paul and Quil had held Jacob back. The entire thing had been a debacle of epic proportions. As they had pulled away, Renesmee had shrieked as if she was being torn apart slowly. Emmett had continued to lock her in his arms to stop her thrashing about, but she had managed to get partially free; she had turned her head and stared wretchedly out of the rear window at Jake's lividly shuddering form. As they had turned the corner, leaving Jacob behind, a loud and pitiful keening sound had filled the car. The experience had altered Renesmee, the playful and cheerful girl she had once been had diminished into someone Edward did not recognise. On the surface she was still Renesmee: taller than her mother, but she only reached her father's shoulder, warm chocolate brown eyes, an open and angelic face – her father's impossible beauty; a face that would never be able to fully disguise its emotions and bronze ringlets that hung down to the middle of her back. But of the spark was gone, she was quiet and introspective. People remained drawn to her inexplicably, but she shunned their attention, preferring the company of her books, she went out from time to time and socialised, but it always seemed to Edward that she was simply going through the motions. He pressed down on the keys and began to play; Bella's lullaby always calmed him.

Renesmee stood in the centre of her bedroom, quivering with frustration; she pressed her fingers hard to her eyes. Stars burst behind her eyelids as she took deep breaths and tried to stop herself from crying. For as long as she lived, she would never come to terms with the fact that her father could hear each and every thought that she did not hide or guard against. When she had been younger, it had made her feel close to him, it had meant that they shared a connection to one another, that her father understood her. But, with the loss of innocent, childlike thoughts this had rapidly changed. Old familiar feelings overwhelmed her, she felt as though her head had been trapped in a vice, that the vice was closed tightly on her head and was getting tighter every moment. She wanted to scream as she felt the familiar weakness, the disconnection between herself and what should be the sanctuary of her mind. As the feeling and the thought entered her head, she winced. She had not thought to divert her thoughts away from this trajectory because she had been frustrated by her father's intrusion. The sound of her mother's lullaby cut off abruptly. Immediately, the pressure filled feeling of weakness dissipated and was quickly replaced by that other regular sensation: guilt. She felt guilty because at times like these, she resented her father's gift; she wished that her thoughts were hers alone, like her mother. She cringed at the way that her father's expressions were sometimes unguarded, particularly when her mind fixated on particular subjects, and recently, on a particular person. Truly, she only ever felt free when she was far from home...she had felt free in La Push too, with Jacob. She never needed to disguise anything with him. Downstairs, her father started to play her mother's lullaby again. The knowledge that she felt freer away from her family, from her own father caused her to feel such intense self reproach that there had been moments when she thought that it would consume her. Since they had left Forks she had oscillated regularly between these feelings: frustration, guilt, self-reproach. A soft knock at her door snapped her out of her introspection. She went to the door and opened it, Alice stood outside.

"Oh hey Alice..."

"Listen Ness" she said, taking hold of her arm and pulling her from the room, "We need to talk party details – the dress, the decor...everything"

"Alright" Renesmee answered.

She pushed aside her own feelings. She knew how excited Alice had been about the party – the way that she revelled in every rite of passage that Renesmee reached. She smiled at her aunt fondly and allowed her to lead the way to her and Jasper's room. Alice pulled her excitedly to the soft suede sofa in the back corner of the room, it was angled to look out over the rolling green grass that led to the icy beauty of the lake and down towards the glacier. Alice pulled her down beside her; she turned her body to face Renesmee,

"So, have you thought about your dress?" Alice asked.

Renesmee wanted to answer in the affirmative, but the truth was she had not spent a second of the last two weeks thinking of anything except...She stopped that train of thought. She had to focus.

"You haven't have you?" Alice said when she hadn't answered moments later.

"No" Renesmee admitted shamefaced.

Alice's face clouded with disappointment,

"But, I really want to choose a great one...I just don't have your style Alice, you know that. I need your guidance; you'll help me won't you?"

Renesmee watched as a sparkling smile lit up Alice's face. She knew that her aunt loved nothing more than fashion and to feel useful, so combining the two was her idea of heaven.

"Well, that's lucky because..." she darted up from the sofa and danced gracefully to her oversized closet doors. Renesmee watched as she threw them open happily uncovering the depth of the walk-in wardrobe. Alice pulled a clothes rail from the cavernous space to the centre of the room, "Voila!" she exclaimed.

Renesmee's eyes bugged, the rail contained a selection of high end designer dresses. They were so unlike the sort of clothes that Renesmee chose for herself, she knew that she would not be happy or comfortable wearing any of them. She took a deep breath and stood. She walked to the rail, letting her fingers trail across the fabric of the dresses as she went,

"So which ones do you like?" Alice smiled.

"They're all so...so beautiful. I don't think I can choose"

"Oh come on Ness...humour me"

Renesmee bit her lip and studied each of the dresses; she tried to decide which would look the least hideous on her. Her hand rested on a pale gold dress, the material, silk, was soft and delicate against her skin, she ran her fingers up and down its skirt, "Excellent choice" Alice smiled, "I was hoping that you'd pick that one, I mean any one of these would look stunning on you, but this is totally you...now we just have to figure out what to do with your hair"

"Alice...do you ever feel trapped?" Renesmee asked tentatively as she watched her aunt.

"Hmmm? Trapped? What do you mean?" Alice asked, jogged out of her potential plans for Renesmee's hair.

"Nothing..." Renesmee said, deflated. Alice would never understand. None of her family would. They viewed Edward's gift as beneficial, you just had to consider the number of times that her father's gift had saved them all, "So, any ideas about the hair?"

Alice regarded her carefully, she looked as if she were considering Renesmee's question, Renesmee quickly said,

"I was thinking that I might just leave it down"

It was enough to jar Alice's train of thought and bring it back to the safer topic of the party,

"Leaving it down...that could work, but we'd have to define the curls..." Alice mused.

Renesmee breathed an internal sigh of relief.

Before long, Alice was satisfied with their decisions on a dress for the party and the 'look' they would try to create with Renesmee's hair. Released, Renesmee made her way down the stairs to the front door, but before she could reach it, her father appeared from the living room,

"Hey Dad..." she said quietly.

His topaz eyes were filled with pain and remorse. She felt guilt flood her entire system,

"Renesmee..." he said brokenly.

"It's ok Dad...look I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said or I thought" she lied.

"Yes you did" he replied, coming towards her.

She held her hand up before he could fully reach her, tears sprung to her eyes,

"Please Dad, don't. I just...I just need to...I love you, but I have to..."

He stood frozen and she knew that if he could have cried at that moment, he would have. She could not look at the tortured expression; she could not withstand the weight of the guilt that bore down on her, so she turned and fled out into the driveway and headed for her car. Edward winced as the front door slammed shut behind her. He heard Renesmee trudge in her boots to his old silver Volvo. He heard her slam the door and start the engine. Then, she tore out of the driveway.

* * *

Renesmee turned up the heat in the car, gripping the wheel as she drove quickly away from the large isolated house that stood overlooking Medenhall Lake. She followed the curve of the driveway until she reached the fork in the road, signalling its end. She turned right and headed towards Auke Bay. She knew that she had been pretty hard on her Dad, but she had been embarrassed. She had been dreading the birthday party that her Aunt Alice was throwing for days – a trait that she had apparently picked up from her mother, much to her aunt's distress. She didn't want to seem ungrateful, but having her father hear exactly what she was thinking made her seem just that. Agitated, she pressed the CD player's 'on' button – the first few chords of _Song 2_ sounded in the car, she turned up the volume as loud as it would go.

The beauty of the dense forest that bordered the road smeared and blurred as she sped past, trying to outrun her guilt and the recent glaring truth that had been revealed to her. Terrified and unsure of how to deal with it, she had buried it away at the back of her head, loath to admit that it was the cause of her recent ill humour – that and something else; something that caused her eyes to sting each time she thought about it. She sighed as she followed the curve of the road that led down to the bay; the truth was her anxiety and seemingly endless bad mood had nothing whatsoever to do with the party, even if she was dreading it. No, her mood had much more to do with the deafening silence that derived from La Push; that and her newly discovered revelation.

She had not seen Jacob in a month and then two weeks ago, his daily phone calls had ceased. At first she had figured that his college work must have piled up; now that the Volturi had retreated in shock for the foreseeable future, he and the packs had little to defend against and he had never been the most focused student in the world, but then nothing had ever stopped him from contacting her before. By the middle of the second week, another explanation struck her: Jacob had forgotten her because Jacob had met someone else. As she thought about it now, her entire body went numb with fear, so much so that she had to pull over. She switched off the engine and bent over, in the silence of the car the numbness was replaced with an acute pain that ripped through her body, causing her to whimper in response; still gripping the steering wheel, she laid her forehead against it and tried to fight her way through the lurid images that filled her head: _Jacob smiled at a girl she didn't recognise, he used the smile that she had thought belonged only to her. He ran his fingers through the girl's long glossy black hair and his other hand pulled the girl into his lap. She laughed as she fell on to him and reached up beneath his t-shirt running her hands up his chest, their faces were close together, his nose touched hers_...the images morphed, Renesmee watched as their surroundings changed. _He had the girl in his bed, he held her by the waist, guiding her. He laid there mesmerised, the girl was seated on top of him, undulating, writhing, moaning_...Renesmee's hands shook and her bottom lip trembled as she breathed in short gasps of air. She was having another panic attack. She felt the sting at the back of her eyes. She squeezed them shut and hoped that the storm would soon pass.

* * *

"Edward?" Bella's peeling-bell-like voice called as she walked towards the large living area.

Alarm enveloped her as she took in his defeated form. He sat at his piano, but the stool was pushed back from the keys, he was bent double, his face hidden in his hands. She flew towards him, falling to her knees beside the stool and touched his left hand,

"Edward...what's wrong? What happened?"

He did not answer her immediately; he kept his face hidden in his hands, despite her tugging at them.

"Please Edward...you're scaring me. Is it Renesmee? Is she ok?"

The very real fear in her voice wrenched him out of the quick sand he seemed to be sinking irretrievably into. He dropped his hands to his lap and straightened, he shifted to look at her. Her wide topaz eyes stared back up at him, fearful and anxious. He felt awful for making her feel that way,

"There's nothing wrong Bella..."

"Then why are you sitting here like this? Don't tell me this is nothing...I know you Edward. Tell me what's wrong."

He sighed. It was a pained and weary sound that seemed to exhaust him further. His eyes moved to the keys of the piano and a troubled expression cast a shadow over his beautiful face. He reached out with his left index finger and pressed down on middle C.

"It's Renesmee...she resents me..."

"No!" Bella insisted, "Edward, Renesmee would never feel that way about you. She loves you..."

He smiled crookedly, wryly, but his smile faltered.

"Bella she resents me" he said firmly, "She resents the fact that I intrude into her thoughts"

"She's just going through a hard time, with school..."

"No. Not school. Her recent malaise has nothing to do with something as trivial and banal as school..."

"What then?" Bella asked.

Edward struck at middle C again,

"Jacob"

"Jake? What about him?"

"It's happening Bella. Finally. We are going to lose her..."

Bella knew exactly what he meant. The icy fingers of unwanted comprehension closed around her heart.

"Her feelings have changed..." she stated.

"Yes. Her feelings have changed and she has never been more distant, so unreachable...her face when she left the house..."

"You think she wants to leave us?"

"Yes. Me especially," he hung his head in his hands again, and in an anguished voice said, "I can't let go of her Bella...I knew it would come and I thought that I would be able to accept it...but this situation with Jacob and her detachment. It isn't sufficient...it isn't enough time...she can't go...not yet."

He broke off, gripped by the sense of loss that overwhelmed and ripped at his heart. The desolation he felt was almost on a par with the devastation he had felt when he had believed that Bella was dead. Renesmee's changed feelings coupled with her increasing isolation from her family meant only one thing: they would lose her. She would belong to Jacob, _with _Jacob and Edward and Bella and the rest of the Cullens would fade into obscurity. He was being irrational, he realised, irrational and selfish. But he felt it nevertheless, it gnawed at him. Each one of her frustrated thoughts eroded a little more of the bond they had shared, altered the little girl who had always been content simply to sit in her father's lap, listening to him read her stories. That little girl had been slipping away ever since they had left Forks he realised. What was more, he knew he was powerless to stop it.

* * *

Renesmee plunged her hands deep into the pockets of her jeans as she picked her way around the bay. She had passed the marina long ago and the further away she had gotten from it, the fewer people she had seen. It was a welcome change. More often than not over the last six months she had been feeling as if she were constantly surrounded, as if everyone and everything in her life had crowded in on her. Everyone except the one person she wanted to crowd her of course; he was over eight hundred miles away. It wasn't that she didn't love her family, she did, more than she could say, but the rigidity of the unit, the secrecy, the pretence had been getting to her recently; the pressure to appear normal. The party, just the latest example of this, had exacerbated her sense of being trapped. Worse still, she knew that her life would always be this way – constantly moving on, trying not to awaken suspicion; never able to put down roots or be completely honest. She knew that that was why Jacob was so integral to her life. It was something apart from the recent feelings that she had developed for him and their impact on her emotional stability. Jacob represented life beyond the Cullens, despite his connection to them. He represented a freedom that was not accessible to her otherwise. He did not constrain her. When she was with him, she belonged. She frowned and slowed her pace, beginning to feel the familiar sensation of treachery as these thoughts entered her mind. She stopped and turned her back on the hulking mass of spruce trees and faced the vivid blue of the ocean. The autumn sun stretched its fingers towards her exposed face, caressing her cheeks, her forehead and the tip of her nose. She felt its reaction with her skin; she felt the shimmering glow suffuse her face. It was at times like these that she felt most alone, her family couldn't walk openly with her like this along Auke Bay, not on a sunny autumn day – and that wasn't their fault, she knew that. But it did not stop her wishing that they could share these things with her. It would be better if she was really like them, the same as them – if she couldn't go out in the direct sunlight, if she too shone like a multi-faceted diamond when sunlight hit her skin. It would be better if they were like her, a part of two worlds, belonging to neither one entirely. It wasn't self-pity because she knew that she was not unique; there were three others besides her at least. However, in the world that she inhabited, she was unique, the only one split between two worlds, feeling the demands of both and not knowing how to reconcile herself to either one. Her ability to talk to her mother about her human inclinations had long passed; Bella barely remembered her human life. It had become hazy, soft around the edges now that the certainty of forever stood in front of her. Renesmee could not talk to the few friends that she had either because her human life was inextricably bound with her vampire life – revealing that meant something too terrible to comprehend. So, in many ways she remained isolated – unless Jacob was near. He understood what it meant to walk in two worlds and belong to neither; he and the other wolves. Treachery stabbed at her again. Then, as if to make amends, she turned and darted into the forest to hunt.

* * *

Bella stood and looked out of the picture window at the icy water of Mendenhall Lake, troubled. In three hours the entire 10th grade of Juneau-Douglas High School would descend on the large isolated house to celebrate Renesmee's 'sixteenth' birthday and Alice was going all out as usual. The house was filled with pale yellow and bright white roses, Alice's colour scheme extended to all of the decorations, even to the multi-tiered stand that held the individual cupcakes with the pale yellow icing that substituted for the large cake that Alice had wanted and Renesmee had refused to countenance. Fairy lights, tastefully draped all over the lower level of the large I-house completed the feminine, floral look. The front door opened and Bella turned to see Renesmee enter, wrapped up in her long, navy blue winter coat and beanie hat.

"Hey Mom..." she breathed.

"Hey sweetie, where have you been?"

"Auke Bay...I needed...I just needed some time y'know?" she said, pulling off her coat and hat and laying them across the arm of the sofa.

"Yes. Your father told me you were a bit upset earlier..."

Renesmee rolled her eyes, "Not upset," she lied, "Just didn't really want an audience listening to my thoughts. Sometimes I wish Daddy couldn't hear me..."

"Renesmee, your father loves you. He's worried about you. You've been so down these last couple of weeks."

"I'm fine," Renesmee shrugged. She looked into her mother's topaz eyes and found that she clearly wasn't buying it, "Ok, so I'm not fine. But I don't want to talk about it either."

She avoided her mother's eyes, looking past her out of the window at the lake. Bella was quiet for a moment as she watched her daughter, "Has this got anything to do with the fact that Jacob hasn't called?" she asked quietly.

"Mom...I said I don't want to talk about it," Renesmee sighed, a shadow of a scowl clouding her face.

Bella frowned in frustration, "You may not want to talk about it Renesmee – but the rest of us are having to live in the atmosphere that you are creating. Don't you think it would help to talk about it?"

Renesmee looked back at her mother; she never felt fully comfortable talking with her mother about Jacob, especially as she matured beyond childhood and certainly not once her revelation became utterly apparent. Whenever she did, a look that she didn't fully recognise would take up residence in her mother's eyes. She could tell that her mother wasn't fully comfortable talking about him either, at least in relation to Renesmee herself. Right now, she knew instinctively that what she wanted was to express her feelings for Jacob, but that would not go down well with her mother. So she simply said, "Honestly Mom. I don't need to talk about it. I'm sorry if I've been making things hard – but I don't want to talk about it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two **

The throng of teenage bodies laughed and danced, enjoying Alice's efforts – it was probably the best party Juneau had seen in years; but Renesmee felt completely isolated from it. It was as if she was standing there, suspended in slow motion as the all the others moved around her at the speed of light – vital and alive. She felt like she was dying a slow death. What a strange feeling to realise that you have come to depend upon someone so completely, that even the smallest absence causes you to be bereft. Her heart ached at this realisation. The minutes and hours in between his daily calls had always been bad. The prolonged length of time that had elapsed since he was physically present in her life was worse – but the complete lack of contact? She knew that in a few days, she would die of the separation; the recognition of _why_ she felt this way had hit her like a freight train a week ago. How blind and naive. She stood in the shadows that gathered at the bend of the elaborate staircase watching her friends and family enjoying themselves below so effortlessly. How strange to realise that your sense of self, the meaning of everything in fact, was wrapped up in one person. She looked down and tried to stave off the tears that threatened to escape. Then the front door opened.

She turned instinctively towards the door, despite the throbbing baseline of the music, in spite of the number of teenagers that danced wall to wall in her house. She turned and looked straight at him: her Jacob. She squealed in delight, "Jake! Jacob..." she called out as she began to make her way down the stairs and push her way through the crowd towards him.

He was just coming through the door with Quil, Embry and Seth; as her voice reached him he looked up and met her chocolate brown eyes. A wide smile stretched his full lips. She continued to push herself through the crowd until she stood in front of him. As soon as she reached him she stopped, unsure of what to do next. It had been easier when she was younger, she would have simply flown into his arms; but now as she stood before him, she was struck by his height and his exquisite beauty, the sheen of his tanned skin, the intensity of his dark brown, almost black eyes as they stared into her own. She felt the blush creep up her body and on to her face as she noticed his musculature, his broad shoulders, the way his powerfully defined arms stretched the fabric of his black t-shirt, the flat solidness of his stomach, his tapering waist and long legs; he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Across the room Edward watched, raising his eyebrow at the direction of his daughter's thoughts. Quil, Seth and Embry had long since drifted off into the party, leaving Renesmee and Jacob to continue to stare at one another.

"You came..." she whispered, sure that he was a figment of her imagination.

Jacob rolled his eyes, "As if I had something more important to do..."

"I just mean...you haven't called and I..." she trailed off embarrassed; she looked down at the wooden floor.

Jacob reached out, touching her chin he tilted her face upwards so that she had to look at him, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be Ness," he said earnestly.

The hand tilting her chin dropped to her right hand. He took hold of it and began walking backwards, pulling her out of the door. She followed him without any hesitation, they crossed the threshold and still he pulled her until they reached the outer edge of the deep porch that wrapped around the I-house; he stopped and pulled her towards him, a smile that made her melt playing at the corners of his lips, as he stared intently in to her eyes. His hands went to her waist, the heat of his fingers searing her skin through the thin fabric of her pale gold strapless sheath dress.

He lifted her, pressing her to his body, his arms banding around her to hug her to him, "You look beautiful Ness. You've grown..." he smiled in to her hair as he held her like she was a delicate flower.

"Jake," she breathed, her feet level with his knees, he held her like she weighed nothing, "I missed you," she whispered, embarrassed but desperate to let him know how she felt, "I missed you and you didn't call and I thought..."

When she failed to finish the sentence, he held her away from him and he frowned, "You thought what?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter," she said, looking away.

"Don't do that Ness, we don't hide things from one another..."

He placed her back on her feet; she felt the loss of his touch instantly. Instinctively, she reached for him, he allowed her back into his arms, but with a warning tone said,

"Ness..."

"It's just that….you haven't called me in weeks and I thought that...I thought that you might have met someone." She stumbled over the words as dread crept over her body in fear of his impending confirmation of her most horrific fear.

He pulled her away from her, causing her to look into his eyes. They were serious now and contained real hurt in response to her confession.

"Someone else? _Never _Ness...that will never _ever_ happen. You are everything Ness. You always will be everything to me."

She ducked her head in embarrassment.

"Come on," he said, tugging her towards the steps, "Come walk with me."

She followed him down the steps onto the drive way. Together, they walked towards the forest.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Things kind of accelerate in this chapter between Ness and Jake. It may seem a bit soon, but it will make sense why I chose this as the story goes on. FYI, Jacob is around 19 – his phasing has stopped him aging too much.

**Chapter Three**

Jacob grappled with himself as they walked side by side in companionable silence into the forest. He noticed that she was brushing her arm against his. Smiling to himself, he reached down and took hold of her small hand.

He had travelled all the way to Alaska to ask Renesmee a question that had been consuming him for the last six months. For the last six months, listening to her lyrical voice on the phone, intermittently seeing her blossom from a girl into a young woman, he had been wrestling with whether to tell her about his feelings – how they had changed, about how much he needed her to be something more than simply his best friend. He had almost driven his pack to distraction. His thoughts always returned to her, so much so that Quil, Seth and Embry had insisted that they had to accept Alice's invitation and travel from La Push to Juneau so that Jacob could finally gain some peace about the matter. They had told him in no uncertain terms that he either tell Renesmee the truth or they would rip him to shreds- Alpha or not.

A mile into the woods Jacob and Renesmee dawdled to a stop. Heart pounding, Jacob turned to her, if he was ever going to confront his feelings, now was the time. He was about to combust. She smiled invitingly and Jacob lifted her by her waist again until their heads were level. But this time, he pressed her against the trunk of an ancient yellow cedar tree. Unconsciously her hands bunched in the fabric of his black t-shirt, pulling him closer so that she was sandwiched between the heat of his body and the rough coolness of the tree. His black eyes were intently fixed on her mouth: the perfect Cupid bow, the plump pink fullness of her lips. The intensity and possessiveness that swirled in the depths of his eyes sent an electric thrill through her body, her breathing picked up and she felt a blush envelop her. He looked as if he wanted to devour her. In that moment, she prayed that her father could not hear either of their thoughts. His eyes returned to hers, they regarded her with reverence, but they also asked her a question. She searched them and as she stared back recognition flared. She knew that look: yearning, abject fear and total vulnerability. His eyes laid him bare; they reflected the very feelings that had sucker punched her a week ago. Stunned, she knew what he silently asked her and the very idea that she stood on the summit of this moment astounded her. Two hours ago, she had been utterly desolate – now all her dreams were about to come true. Jacob watched as something sparked in Renesmee's eyes, but she didn't react, she simply continued to stare back, unmoving. As the seconds ticked by, he began to feel a fool for coming to Juneau – so what if his feelings had changed? The emotions of the imprintee weren't definitive, in the end it all came down to choice. But, either way, he had to know. When she had still failed to answer seconds later, Jacob whispered in a strained voice,

"Please. Please Ness..."

Instead of answering him, she pressed her hand to his left cheek biting her lip in anticipation. In an instant all of the secret desires she harboured for him were vividly and indelibly branded on to his psyche. Something snapped. He moved forward and pressed his mouth to hers in a forceful and fervent kiss. The heat of his lips burned hers. Her arms locked around his neck, she pulled him flush against her, desperate to be as close to him as she could be. Simultaneously, she let her thoughts and feelings flow between them, overwhelming his senses. His hands slid down the sides of her body, along the outside of her thighs until they reached the backs of her knees, he pulled them forward, causing them to bend until she wrapped her legs around his waist. She gasped against his mouth as the heat that radiated from his body touched the bare skin of her inner thighs. She ran hot herself, but the heat that her body generated did not compare to his. Jacob did not waste the opportunity to explore her now open mouth. She tasted of honey and rose water. He tasted of the forest, rich and earthy. But when she reached for the hem of his t-shirt, seeking to get closer to him still, he pulled away and pressed her against the tree as he took a step back.

"Don't Ness – if you do, I don't think I'll be able to stop," he said breathlessly, desperately straining to keep control.

"But Jake..." she protested.

"Do you have any idea of what your father would do to me? The Volturi would have nothing on him."

He laughed, but it took him all the effort in the world to remain rational in the face of her beauty. He shook his head as if to clear it, then placed her back on the ground. A lump formed in her throat, she sucked in a breath, tried to compose herself, tried to stave off the tears that threatened to spill and embarrass her further. He reached out to stroke her cheek, but she looked away hurt that he didn't want to continue, silently mocking herself – _why would he want me? He could have any girl he wanted – even if he says he isn't interested in anyone else._ As if he had read her mind, he pulled her to him, "It isn't like I don't want to Ness…I've never wanted anything more..."

"Right, but you're scared of my dad?"

He pulled away and frowned, "Scared of your Dad? Yeah right! It has nothing to do with that. I could take him...but I do owe him..."

"Owe him?"

Jacob sighed and pulled her over to a fallen tree trunk. He waited until she sat, then he sat beside her. She immediately lifted his right arm, placed it around her shoulder and snuggled into his side. He sighed, her proximity and scent made it so difficult for him to concentrate, all he could think of was how her lips had felt against his, the feel of her beneath his hands. He took a deep quivering breath and then began,

"Do you remember what I told you about imprinting when you were little?"

She nodded.

"Well, I didn't tell you the full story. You see honey, imprinting binds us. But usually it changes – I mean it _can_ change and you go from being friends or something to feeling...different, when you're the right age, like you are now. It means that we might want to be bound together in a different way. Like how we just were... by the tree."

Renesmee blushed and her heart rate picked up.

"So it means that one day...you and I will..." she trailed off embarrassed at what she suggested.

He coloured too and ducked his head slightly, "Maybe, one day. That's why I came here, to tell you that my feelings for you have changed...I'm in love with you Renesmee and I'll _always _want to be with you and if you feel the same way, that means that we'll end up -"

"Married," she finished for him. It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah"

She smiled but she didn't answer. It was pretty obvious what she wanted based on her behaviour by the tree. She _really_ hoped her father wasn't listening. She placed a shaky hand on his muscular chest and at contact, her heart rate leapt. She wondered how she would ever stand being married to Jacob when she could barely breathe when she touched him so innocently.

"I like that idea," she whispered.

"What idea's that?" he asked her tentatively.

"Well...I think…no, I know that I'm in love with you too. Being yours, being married to you, I'd like that very much"

He blazed so brightly in response to her admission that he thought he might ignite right there in the forest.

"Me too, so much - but we have to do this right. When I first imprinted on you, your father was pretty pissed. He could have made things real hard for us, but he worked to accept that we were meant to be and for that I owe him. You're mine Ness and we will be together - but you're his little girl too"

"Not that little," she grumbled.

"Little enough, in comparison to me"

"Jake everyone's little in comparison to you," she laughed.

He was quiet for a while, lost in her closeness. He basked in her requited love and dreamed of their future as he stroked her hair gently. She leant her head against his chest, breathed him in. They sat together in personable silence, until Jacob broke it, "We have to go back don't we?"

"Yes," she whispered, loath to admit it.

He stood and pulled her up after him. Hands clasped, they began to make their way back through the trees towards the house. When they reached the edge of the forest, where the yellow cedar trees became sparser and the twinkling lights of the house were visible, they lingered beneath the leafy canopy. They stared warmly into one another's eyes, their hands joined and pressed against Renesmee's chest. Jacob leaned forward, breathing in her scent as he kissed her: her forehead, the corners of her eyes, the apples of her cheeks, the edges of her mouth, the underside of her jaw and then he returned to her mouth and lingered there, trying to restrain the depth of feeling that lay burning beneath the surface.

"I love you Ness, I love you, love you..." he chanted against her smiling mouth.

She unlinked her hands from his, throwing her arms around his neck, begging to be held tightly against him. He acquiesced and lifted her in his arms. She pressed her left palm to the back of his neck and let every feeling of longing that had run through her mind since they had been apart play in his mind. His lips still softly pressed to hers, opened as he gasped at their intensity.

"Ness..." he whispered urgently.

At that very moment, the front door of the house banged open, startling the two lovers beneath the tree. Edward stood and glowered on the threshold, his eyes riveted to their entwined bodies.

"Damn it," Jacob cursed; he let Ness down to the floor slowly.

"Dad?" she whispered.

He nodded. She took a deep breath, "Go back inside Jake, I need to talk to him."

"But Ness..."

"Please Jake- I have to do this part alone. Please?"

Jacob regarded her, unconvinced, but the steel in her eyes caused him to relent. He nodded, ran a finger softly down the side of her face and then left her side to stride back to the house.

"You shouldn't have come here mutt – you need to give her space," Edward said as Jacob passed by him.

Jacob froze, his fists clenched. He controlled his anger so that his voice left his mouth in a cold and definite tone, "Every other time we've competed for something you've won. You won't win this time. Count on that."

Edward visibly bristled. Jacob walked into the house without another word.

"Why do you do that to him, Dad?" Renesmee sighed, not turning to face her father. In an instant he was by her side, inches away.

"Do what?"

"Belittle him. He's done so much for you – for us – for Mom. Why can't you at least respect him for that?"

"Because I can hear what he's thinking," Edward bit out.

"About me?"

Edward nodded, seething.

"Well... you can hear me too, Dad. I doubt what I think about him is much different."

"Of course it's different – you're younger than him!" he spat.

"Daddy – I love him. We belong together"

"Ness..."

"He can offer me a life – a life that I want with him"

He laughed incredulously.

"Why are you being this way?" she whispered.

He sighed, but didn't answer. He looked hard into the darkness of the forest. He reached for her hand and she took it.

"I know I can't make you change your mind – not now that the dog's imprinted on you"

"Stop calling him that. His name is Jacob. Jacob Black. You called him brother once – I remember"

Edward didn't answer, but his grip on her hand tightened.

"I would have loved him anyway; imprinted on or not. I know that and I think you do too. At least I know he needs me too"

"But he has nothing to offer somebody like you Renesmee. He's a shape-shifter, he's directionless. It isn't like your mother and me; you will live a human life with him. Does he even have any aims beyond college?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes – how will he provide for you? He's proud enough that that is what he will want to do...will you live with him in that shack in La Push?"

"Don't..._please_," she pleaded.

"I have to"

"He's talented. You have no idea...what he can do with his hands and he's intelligent, we talk for hours about everything...he makes me smile"

"You have to understand what you are entering into"

"You're talking as if I have a choice, as if he has a choice. He imprinted on me. That is _it,_ our future is already set. I belong with him, Dad. I belong _to_ him and he belongs to me," Renesmee stated.

"No!"

Renesmee did not answer. She let go of his hand, turned and ran back to the house, leaving Edward frozen at the edges of the forest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Renesmee's eyes immediately searched for Jacob when she rejoined the party. They found him by the grand piano surrounded by a group of girls from her school. The girls fawned over him. Their hands were all over him. He had the good grace to seem embarrassed, although Renesmee knew that part of him had to be basking in his masculinity; heaven knew that Jacob could be insufferably over-confident. She stood at the periphery of the living room until his eyes found her. Again, he smiled wide, flashing his bright white teeth. Without a second thought, he walked away from the girls, making straight for her. As he reached her, he caught her up in his arms:

_"He's with Renesmee? Unbelievable!"_

"_Totally believable. Is there any guy who isn't obsessed with her?"_

"_I know, he's like the hottest guy here..."_

The discontented voices of some of the girls reached Renesmee's ears. She winced at the sound of envy in their voices; she didn't want that kind of attention from anyone. In truth she had few friends beyond Jacob, his pack and her own family; she had shied away from that once she had discovered the pettiness of teenage girls: she had been at the mercy of green teenage girls ever since she had entered high school, girls whose jealousy flared the moment that the object of their affection redirected their attention, more than often in her direction once a hormonal teenage boy caught sight of her. It was a strange feeling, to have people drawn to you, without trying, to have people love you and yet envy you simultaneously. She hid her face in Jacob's chest and pressed her hand to his arm. She communicated her desire to escape from the whispers of the girls. Immediately, he pulled her from the room and to the foot of the stairs that led to the first floor. He tugged on her hand and she let him lead her up to the dimly lit landing. A large family portrait sat on an antique table they passed - a childlike Renesmee stared out, held by her parents at the centre, flanked by Carlisle and Esme; Rosalie and Emmett on their left, Alice and Jasper on their right. Towering over them all at the back stood the wolves, with the exception of one; loath to be away from her, Jacob, down on one knee, had placed himself at the centre of the photograph beneath Renesmee. Bella's hand rested on his shoulder and Renesmee's fingers reached down to tangle in his black hair. The faces in the photograph did not smile; they looked out with a hope and weariness borne of a near escape from catastrophe. Jacob and Renesmee took little notice of the photograph as they made their way past closed doors to the end of the hall and Renesmee's room. When they reached her door, he stopped and looked down at her frowning,

"Jake c'mon. I can control myself and you've been in my room before."

"Not like this..."

"It's ok."

She opened the door and pulled him inside shutting it behind them. The moon sliced through the picture window that ran the length of the back wall of the room. It bathed them in iridescent light as he looked down at her, reaching out he ran his fingers through her long bronze hair and sighed,

"I wondered how long it would be before we were alone again," he said. "I waited by the door when you spoke to your Dad...just in case. I heard what he said about me; about us."

Renesmee looked down ashamed, "Jake, I'm sorry..."

"No it's ok," he forced a smile, "I mean I know I'm going to prove him wrong Ness and I'll make you so happy. Besides," he smiled arrogantly, "I know you love me."

Renesmee rolled her eyes and pushed him lightly, making not even the slightest impact on his balance. Her actions were playful, but his expression suddenly turned serious, he took hold of her arms, jolting her out of her playfulness and causing her to look up at the serious expression on his face. He seemed to be considering how to articulate something. He took a breath and began:

"You meant what you said to him – your Dad. You do love me, right?"

His tone betrayed his insecurity, despite his best efforts to hide it. She smiled up at him and nodded.

"Yes, always and then some more. Will you kiss me now?"

He smiled wide, lifting her in his arms again. Their lips met in a kiss so full of fervour that Jacob stumbled backwards. His tongue traced her bottom lip, probing for an entrance in to her mouth. Renesmee sighed loudly, completely giving over to the intensity of the feelings that coursed through her body, allowing him in. Forgetting herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands wandered into his black hair, winding the strands around her fingers. Her body thrummed insistently, desperate for more than he was giving her, she pressed her lips harder against his. Her movement caused him to stagger backwards. When his legs hit the edge of her bed, he stopped abruptly, pulling away from her mouth, breathing heavily.

"Ness, we have to calm down or we'll end up doing something that we'll regret," he said, trying for an even, rational tone and failing miserably.

"I don't want to calm down," she whispered, trying to press her lips back onto his.

He held her away.

"We have to, your Dad is already about to rip me a new one, your friends are downstairs, your family...and to be honest, I don't think Quil, Seth or Embry are gonna love me a whole lot if this is all I can think about on the way back to La Push."

That sobered her up, she signalled at him to release her. He acquiesced. She smoothed her hands down the increasingly rumpled gold sheath dress and moved to the end of her bed. She sat down on it and Jacob joined her, sitting as close as he could without sitting on her. He placed his warm hand on her left knee, his thumb began making idle patterns on her bare skin almost immediately. They were quiet for a long time. Renesmee was the one to break the silence, "_When_ you go back to La Push...this is a flying visit then? You aren't staying?"

"Ness..."

"I haven't seen you in months...I thought that the whole deal with this imprinting thing was that you couldn't stand to be apart from me -"

"I can't!" he cut in, "I can't stand being away from you Ness – but you live in Alaska and I still have to go to college."

She was trying to keep the desperate shrillness out of her voice, but she knew it wasn't working, "But you only just got here!"

"I know," he said regretfully, "Don't you think I'd stay if I could...and if I didn't think your Dad would make a new rug out of me?"

"Don't go," her voice trembled.

"Ness...please..."

"I'll die if you go. I swear it!"

"It kills me too...I feel like I'm being ripped apart when I can't hear you, see you...or touch you."

"I mean it Jake – I'll die. Please don't leave me here," she insisted, turning to him.

The pain in her eyes was tangible. He reached up and stroked her hair, pursing his lips.

"Your family is here."

"Yes and I love them, like you can't believe; but I _need_ you."

"Ness..."

"You'll go and then you won't call like before."

"I will."

"You stopped. Out of nowhere!"

"I was on my way here..." he whispered, staring deep into her eyes.

"For two weeks?"

"No – but I had to go somewhere else first. I had to get your birthday present. Jeez Ness, I stopped aging so that I could wait until you were ready for us...doesn't that show you what you mean to me? I would never stop calling for some dumb reason like college...I didn't call because I went to get you something."

As he spoke, he reached in to his pocket to retrieve something; it caught the light of the moon as he removed it, sparking in the darkness of the room. Then he opened his hand and held the shiny thing in the centre of his large hand, he held it towards her hopefully: it was a ring. Correction: it was a beautiful ring, elegant in its simplicity. It was a thin band of silver with a raised area at the centre, on either side was an intricately carved leaf and at the centre was a sapphire of such intense blue that it took her breath away.

"Jake..." she whispered awed.

"I had to travel to find the stone"

"Why?"

"Because I had to find a stone that would do you justice," he answered honestly.

"Jake...thank you so much, it's so beautiful"

"It's a promise ring, I guess... I wanted to give you something so that when we aren't together, you can look at it and remember that I love you, that we will be together; that I'm always thinking of you."

She held up her left hand to let him put the ring onto her wedding finger, he slid it on reverently, his eyes fixed on hers the entire time. It fit perfectly.

Renesmee looked down on it with soft brown eyes; it contrasted so completely with the peaches and cream of her own complexion. At that moment, there were no words to communicate the depth of her emotions. So, instead, she took one of his hands, placed it on her left cheek and turned her face towards his hand, nuzzling it softly, breathing him in. Then she reached out and trailed her fingers down the side of his face, until they reached his full lips. She traced them delicately, her fingers stilled over them for a few seconds. Her face was a mixture of determination and adoration. She took a deep breath, shifted on the bed until she had placed her knees at either side of his thighs, her hands pressed against his solid chest. He allowed her to push him down on to his back; his eyes glued to hers the entire time. Her hands slid up to his shoulders, swept the sides of his neck until they came to rest on either side of his face, she bent over him, her bronze hair creating a luxurious curtain that hid them from view. She placed her trembling lips to his. The second she did, his hands gripped her waist, holding her in place while the kiss deepened. Her heart galloped at the intimate contact and she felt his respond in kind. His fingers traced the curve of her waist, up and down.

She silently wished that he would do more, but she knew, deep down, that he wouldn't cross the line she was so desperate for him to cross. Proving her suspicions, he allowed his fingers to linger where they were, drawing patterns as he explored her mouth. The sharp rap at the door startled them both, Renesmee shot off the bed so quickly that she landed half way across the room, crouched low as if to attack. She bristled visibly. Jacob was beside her in a second, desperately pressing his lips together to keep from laughing. She caught his eye and her own face altered to reflect the same sentiment as she stood to her full height, but she recovered for long enough to answer the person at the door, "Yes?"

"Ness – it's me."

Her mother. She heard Jacob curse quietly under his breath.

"Can I come in?" Bella called.

"Yes."

A moment later, Bella entered the room, obviously on edge and aware of what they had been doing. The strange look was in her eyes again, Renesmee noted. Jacob took a step closer to her, placing his body slightly ahead of hers, his hand rested on the small of her back.

"Hey Mom..."

"Ness – I came up here to warn you that your father is on the war path...he knows what's been going on up here."

"Nothing's been going on..."

"Don't lie to me Renesmee."

"We kissed...it's hardly the crime of the century," Renesmee snapped uncharacteristically.

Her mother's expression clearly revealed that she was shocked at her tone. She took a deep unnecessary breath and then continued, "Nevertheless..." she turned to Jacob, "You know how he feels Jake. Besides, it isn't exactly polite to come to somebody's house and completely disregard their rules."

Jacob rolled his eyes, "Right – 'cause you and Edward were always _so_ respectful of Charlie's rules," he said sourly.

Bella tried to hide the expression of mortification that clouded her face, but neither Renesmee nor Jacob missed it.

"Jake wanted to give me his present in private and I...I wanted to be alone with him," Renesmee said, lifting her chin.

Bella's eyes flashed to the hand that Renesmee used to pull her fingers through her hair. They zeroed in on the sapphire ring on her wedding finger and her mouth dropped in amazement, "Is that a..."

"It's a promise ring," Jacob said before she could jump to another conclusion.

"Ness, your father..."

"I'm not going to hide it Mom. Gosh, can't you two see how hypocritical you're being? You and Dad didn't exactly let anyone stop you from doing what you wanted...no matter who it affected."

Bella's eyes flashed to Jacob's. He said nothing, his expression unflinchingly unreadable.

"It isn't the same..."

"Why?" Renesmee challenged, "Would it be better if I was with a vampire?"

"That isn't what I'm saying Ness and you know it."

"Then what are you saying?" Jacob suddenly said. His voice simultaneously held a challenge and an accusation.

"I'm saying that you are hurting your father. Emmett had to hold him back – he was going to come up here himself. And you've left all of your guests downstairs..."

Renesmee decided that now was not the time to remind her mother that she had never wanted the party in the first place.

"You're right about the guests, I'll go back down." She turned to Jacob, "Coming?"

He smiled down at her, "Yeah, I'll follow you down. Let me talk to your Mom a sec, ok?"

Renesmee nodded and walked towards the door, past her mother and headed to the stairs. Her acute hearing detected that they did not speak immediately, but as she descended the stairs, she heard Jacob say in a voice she didn't recognise,

"_You and your husband are unbelievable...I can't believe that after all you two put me through that you want to take this from me too."_

"_She's our child."_

"_She's my mate."_

"_You shouldn't have imprinted on her..."_

"_Like I had a choice Bella! Ness is mine. We're meant to be and no amount of bull crap you and Edward throw is gonna change that...you know what you'll have to do to stop me! Are you really willing to do that to me; to her?"_

"_Of course not!"_

_"You know what Bella? I can at least understand his angle; but you? Same old Bella, you have everything you ever wanted but part of you still wants to have your cake and eat it too!"_

Renesmee frowned at that statement. What did Jacob mean? As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard his footsteps in pursuit of her; she turned on the bottom step to watch him descend and was shocked again to find that his face was thunderous with anger; but the moment he caught sight of her, his expression melted again to one of pure joy. He took her hand as he reached the bottom of the stairs and led her back in to the party without saying a word. They rejoined the other teenagers and he pulled her to the centre of the wooden floor that Alice had transformed in to a dance floor. Staring down at her, he pulled her in to his arms so that they could sway to _Iris_. She placed her hands on his chest, her breath catching in her throat as she fingered the ripples and hard defined planes of his chest and abdominal muscles; a fresh surge of desire pulsed through her body. His own arms were hooked beneath her own; they reached up so that his fingers splayed across the creamy expanse of her back where the sheath dress exposed it. She placed her forehead against his chest and breathed him in and a thought crossed her mind: _if it t'were now to die, t'were now to be most happy_. She smiled at her own sentimentality and hoped that the moment would never end. She would never be happier in her life than she was in Jacob's arms. The truth of this statement made the fact that he would soon leave and return to La Push even more of a bitter pill to swallow. But she had to enjoy the moment, she was determined; she had to so that she had happy memories to hold on to until they were together again.

Nevertheless, at the back of her mind, Jacob's words to her mother, their tone and his anger weighed heavily. She wanted to know what he had meant about her mother wanting to have her cake and eat it too – but she couldn't ask him and she certainly couldn't ask her mother. His ire and his words had suggested that there was more that she wasn't aware of, something beyond her parents' feelings about Jacob and herself. Still, there would be plenty of time for questions later, she dismissed the idea and melted back into the joy of being in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

All too soon, Renesmee stood by the front door saying goodbye to her guests, the large drive and front garden looked like a car convention as kids carpooled home or their parents arrived to pick them up. Jacob lingered with Quil, Seth and Embry inside of the kitchen, where Esme had decided that they needed fattening up – they had been only too happy to oblige her, aware of the distance they would have to travel back to La Push. As the last car pulled out of the drive, leaving only the twinkling fairy lights, Alice appeared by her side. She leant down to Renesmee's ear and whispered,

"Your Dad has calmed down; I don't see him confronting Jacob tonight"

"But you do see him doing it in the future?" Renesmee responded.

"No darling – but you didn't see him. We were convinced that he was going to rip Jake to shreds..."

"His reaction is complete overkill," Renesmee groused.

Alice took hold of her arm, pulling her round to meet her eyes,

"Renesmee, the two of you were in your room. Alone; in love and essentially human...stranger things have happened"

"Jacob wouldn't do that..." _No matter how much I wish he would_, she added to herself; then she frowned, her father was bound to have heard that.

"No..._he_ wouldn't," Alice smirked.

Renesmee felt a hot pink blush overtake her body at Alice's inference.

"I...I have to go check on Jake..." she said hurriedly, excusing herself and allowing Alice to shut the front door. As she reached the kitchen, she turned back, "Oh...and Alice? Thanks for the party, it really was fantastic and thanks for inviting Jake – I know it was you!"

Alice smiled and danced off up the stairs to find Jasper.

Jacob, Seth, Quil and Embry sat around the highly polished walnut dining table, and devoured the feast of cold fried chicken, homemade fries and cornbread that Esme had thrown together for them. All four looked up from their piled-high plates as she walked into the room,

"Hungry?" she said sarcastically.

Jacob rolled his eyes and then dug back in; one of his hands patted the seat beside him, signalling that Renesmee should sit next to him. She did so, quickly swiping one of his fries.

"Hey!" he cried out as she popped it into her mouth.

"As if you're going to go hungry; give it a rest Jake!" she laughed.

Quil, Seth and Embry made a point of shielding their own plates from her quick fingers, making them all laugh out loud at their lack of stealth when faced with losing their food. Jacob threw his left arm around her shoulder and pulled her tight against his side. He dumped the last bare chicken bone back on to his plate and sighed in satisfaction.

"Esme can really cook!"

"Yes she can!" Renesmee agreed with him, snuggling closer to him.

The wolves took in the sight of the contented lovers. Seth smiled. Quil and Embry looked at one another with a knowing expression of dread. No doubt they were anticipating the romance based thoughts that Jacob would cause them to experience as a pack on the way back to La Push. Both threw down the food they were eating as if they were suddenly nauseous and stood up from the table. Renesmee read their thoughts exactly,

"It's ok you two. I promise I won't do anything too icky to Jake and make you both puke on the way back to La Push!" she giggled.

They both sat down again but groaned,

"I bet it's already too late...look at his goofy face" Quil whined.

"Get bent!" Jacob retorted good naturedly, "Come on Ness, let's take a walk outside"

This time, they walked out of the backdoor of the kitchen and headed down the sloping grass to Mendenhall Lake. The moon's reflection threw up silver light that bathed the blades of grass and the yellow cedar trees of the forest, making the whole place seem enchanted. As they walked to the lake's edge, Jacob pulled Renesmee close against his side, humming under his breath.

"What's that?" she asked him.

"What's what?" he teased her.

"You know..."

"No. I've no idea what you're talking about"

"Jake – don't..."

"Don't what!"

Renesmee laughed in frustration,

"I swear it Jacob Black – I'll never kiss you again unless you quit trying to rile me..."

He stopped walking. Feigning a look of complete shock, he whispered,

"Never?"

"Never," she confirmed.

He pretended to consider her threat, then he shrugged and said cockily,

"Y'know, I don't need your permission – if you won't give them to me, I'll just take them!"

As he said this, he scooped her up in his arms and pressed his lips to hers in an urgent kiss, she squealed as his swift movement took her by surprise, but the moment that she felt his lips on hers she surrendered completely. As if she would ever be able to keep to that threat. She threw her arms around his neck and let him carry her down to the water's edge still kissing her. He stopped at the point just before the cold water of the lake lapped gently onto the silt that replaced the grass; he pulled his lips away a fraction and whispered,

"Want me to let you down?"

"Never..."she said seriously.

"Then I won't," he smiled and kissed her again.

They stood that way for minutes. Their lips moved in perfect sync together – as if they had been kissing one another their entire lives and hadn't just shared their first kiss four hours ago.

"When you kiss me Jake...it feels so perfect," she confessed as they pulled away for air and he rested his forehead on hers.

"For me too, honey...me too. I love you..."

"I love you too. But if you really love me, you'll tell me the tune you were humming"

Jacob closed his eyes, clearly embarrassed that he would have to confess,

"It's a song by some English dude... _You Do Something_"

"And you were humming it because..."

"It reminds me of you," he admitted quietly.

"Jake..."she smiled and kissed him again softly. She knew that before long he would have to let her down and tell her goodbye, "Jake...please...can't you reconsider leaving? Can't you stay a little longer?"

"Ness – I have to go back to La Push"

"Please Jake..."

"I'll come back soon..."

"Not soon enough. I...I could come with you..."

"Oh yeah – your Dad would love that!" he laughed.

"I don't care...I have to be with you. We belong together"

"Yeah – we do and as soon as you finish school I'll come and get you, I'll follow you anywhere you want to go; we'll never be apart again. But that can't start today Ness...you have other things you have to do first..."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like finish school – have friends, go out, apply to college..."

"What about you and college?"

Jacob shrugged, causing her to jiggle in his arms. She frowned,

"What the heck does that mean?"

"You know...it's college, what is there to say Ness?"

Renesmee pouted. The idea of leaving and going to college without Jacob was like a dagger in the heart. She breathed in deeply,

"Jake? I don't want to experience any of that without you. Especially not college...I thought that we might go to college together"

"Come on Ness...how are we gonna do that? I'm already at college. I can't drop out...you know that"

"I don't mean I want you to drop out, but you're nearly finished with the second year and I thought that when I went to college, you could come with me and carry on..."

He looked at her puzzled, a shadow of suspicion evident in his expression,

"Come with you how?"

"You know...carry on studying...at a higher level"

"You mean a postgrad – right, 'cause I got so much cash I don't know what to do with it..." he said sarcastically.

"I mean it. If you did well enough, you could get a scholarship. I'd go wherever you went. And if you didn't get a scholarship...I could always -"

She abruptly stopped when Jacob placed her back on the ground and glared at her,

"I know what you're going to say and that isn't an option. No way!" he said in a hard voice.

"But Jake..."

"I'm not taking money from your family – they're not paying my way through anything...frankly Ness, I'd rather kiss Paul!"

If he hadn't been so furious at her suggestion, she would have laughed. As it was she sought to find a way back into his arms so that she could make amends,

"I'm sorry Jake...I didn't mean to insult you, I just want us to be together. I don't want us to be apart. I won't go to college without you...so I guess you're going to have to become a nerd!"

He snorted in disgust, the hint of a smile tugging his lips,

"You're going to college Ness, regardless. You're too smart. You could be or do something really awesome...I won't hold you back"

"You'll never hold me back," she stated firmly.

"Sometimes I wonder..."

"Hey! You will never hold me back – you make my life better. You make me a better person. I love you and whatever happens, we're going to be together"

"Whoa, calm down; who died and made you boss?"

"Jake – you pretty much rule in every other area – but I won't let you have your way on this. Got it?"

"Sure sure."

When Quil, Seth and Embry emerged from the kitchen and into the darkness of the back garden, Renesmee's heart sank. They stood lingering awkwardly by the backdoor trying to catch Jacob's attention. Everything about their body language signalled that it was time for them all to leave. Her grip on Jacob's arm tightened. He looked straight ahead into the black water of the lake,

"It's time to go," he said quietly.

"No!" Renesmee exclaimed, pressing herself to him.

"Ness...it was only ever meant to be for tonight, for your birthday"

"Don't. Stay."

"Stay where?"

"With me..."

"I literally mean where...as far as I can tell, there's only one room I could stay in and that isn't gonna happen."

"Please Jake..." she pleaded quietly, looking down at the silt. She toed it with her pale gold satin pump and bit her lip to keep from crying.

He didn't answer her; he turned to her and ran his fingers through her hair, causing her to look up at him. Tears streamed unbidden down her face. A look of guilt crossed his features; he reached out and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that leaked from her chocolate brown eyes.

"Don't cry," he soothed.

"What am I meant to do? You're leaving."

"Please honey, for me. I can't stand seeing you cry..."

"Then stay."

He sighed and tilted his head back to look at the black night sky, its pinpricks of starlight. Being without Renesmee had never been easy. The old adage was a lie: time didn't make it easier to bear, it healed nothing, it simply marked, measured and logged every moment that she was not in his arms. It destroyed him each day when he woke to find that she was not there beside him, that he would not see her beautiful face that day or feel her beneath his hands. He went to college and worked hard because it was a distraction that kept him from phasing and running to be by her side in Alaska. He went to college because he needed to know that he would be able to provide for her when she was finally free to live with him, regardless of her family's immense wealth. He went to college and he worked hard only for her. He hung out with his friends and he laughed and made jokes and playful threats; but his heart wasn't in it. His heart was forever with her. Nothing felt as real or as vital to him if she wasn't there to share it with him. She thought that she would die when he left – she did not realise that seeing her at the start of the night at the top of the stairs had revived him from a living death of his own.

"Honey, I promise you, I will come back in a week. I swear it..."

"A week?" she wailed.

"Come on, Ness! This is hard for me too..." he said, his emotions rising.

His tone resonated with her, she had been selfish. Of course this was just as hard for him as it was for her. All that she had to do was to look into his eyes to see the evidence of that – the look of anguish that lurked in his dark brown eyes just beyond the infinite love and the permanent craving. She had to be mature and reasonable, she decided that making this harder for him was not what you did when you claimed to love someone. She had enough emotional intelligence to recognise that, he deserved that from her. He deserved more. So, she swallowed her own hurt, and forced a small smile onto her face,

"I know Jake. I know it's difficult for you too. I know you have to go...I'll be waiting here for you."

"Yeah?" he smiled seductively.

"Oh yeah," she retorted smilingly.

His expression changed and he looked at her earnestly,

"You're gonna be in my thoughts every second till then..."

"You'll be in mine. I love you," she whispered.

He stroked her cheek,

"I'll call you – everyday."

"Do that," she said softly.

Then there was nothing left to say. With a pained look, Jacob lifted her up and kissed her tenderly on her mouth. Kissing her was never going to get tired. Every inch of him ached as he felt her small hands on his face; they pulled him further into her, communicated how much she loved him and deepened the kiss. He felt the other wolves edge towards the forest, getting ready to disrobe in the shadow of the trees and phase. There was no time left. He pulled away and watched Renesmee's eyes, she looked back at him bravely, fighting to contain the tears that were brimming. He kissed her once more on her lips and then set her back down on the ground.

"I can't watch you leave..." she breathed.

He nodded in understanding and waited. She took one long last gaze at him, then she turned and darted gracefully back the way that they had come. He remained at the edge of the lake, feeling as if he would fall apart now that his arms and his entire entity were empty because of her absence. He looked longingly at the old house, then he took a deep breath and summoned all of his reserves. He turned to the forest, bounded towards it. In the darkness of the trees, he removed his clothes and shoes and tucked them into the pouch strapped onto his leg. A shudder ran down his spine, he phased right into the midst of the pack's thoughts:

"_Poor Jake...leaving has gotta be rough," came Seth's thoughts._

"_He should just swipe her...I dunno what they're even waiting for...we could take Edward..." Quil groused inwardly._

"_He isn't so bad," Seth again. _

"_He's being an asshole, did you see the way he was tonight?" Embry thought._

"_Bet Ness is bawling her eyes out in there..." came Seth's thoughts._

"_Could you all just shut the hell up? This is hard enough...I don't wanna hear it!" Jacob projected angrily, "No more thoughts about Ness..." came his command._

None of them could do anything other than obey the Alpha; all at once, each of their thoughts ceased.

Renesmee stood just inside of the dark kitchen. She _had_ watched Jacob look back at the house, then run and enter the forest. She felt the pull that bonded them stretch and protest, she knew what that meant: he had moved away from the house and from her. Alone, her heart ached excruciatingly for want of him; she crumpled to the kitchen floor and burst into tears.

The wind whistled past Jacob's ears, the black forest seemed to stretch never-endingly ahead, a repetitive blur. The pull of their bond desperately tried to drag him back to her. Adamant, he pressed forward, his claws gripping and ripping the soil to gain more purchase and increase his speed. Each step twisted the knife in further.

Renesmee laid her cheek against the cold tiles of the kitchen floor and tried to catch her breath. Her eyes stared unseeingly ahead, leaking tears. Beyond the walls, doors and windows of the house, a long and mournful howl sounded from the darkness of the forest, piercing the silence.

**Author's note: Sorry this chapter ended sadly – but it's necessary. Promise. Just in case anyone was wondering, Jake is studying Automotive Tech at Peninsula College – it seemed to fit. Btw – thanks to everyone that has reviewed the story : ) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

A firm cool hand stroked Renesmee's bronze hair away from her face as she emerged from a sleep clogged trance. She shifted her body and realised that she was in her bed. She no longer wore the pale gold sheath dress. She felt the familiar fabric of her black sweatpants and long sleeved black t-shirt – one of Jacob's cast-offs. Her chocolate brown eyes fluttered open and struggled to focus, she blinked and looked for the source of the cool soothing touch. She expected to see her mother, but instead Rosalie sat at the side of her bed, her face was a mask of anxiety, but it visibly softened as Renesmee's eyes focused on hers. Renesmee wondered why Rosalie was in her room – she was close to her aunt, but this was still out of the ordinary. Then, without warning, she was dragged back beneath seemingly calm waves, to the ocean floor where she couldn't breathe, where she would be crushed. Jacob: he had been at the house, he had told her that he loved her, then he had left and she had drowned. Pain engulfed her body. She doubled over, and the tears returned.

"Don't cry Renesmee, don't cry," Rosalie soothed.

She pulled a wretched Renesmee into her cool embrace. Renesmee clung to her aunt as if she were an anchor tethering her to the world. She sobbed uncontrollably, unable to stop. The entire time, Rosalie held her and rocked her in her arms until the tears began to quieten,

"I found you in the kitchen," Rosalie whispered, "You...you looked like you were…. Edward carried you up here."

"Daddy? Where is he now? Where's my mom?"

"They're here...but they asked me to stay with you. They blame themselves - for how you're feeling. They didn't want to make it any worse...although they're not the ones responsible for this."

Renesmee did not register the subtext of her aunt's words; she pulled back slightly to look at her,

"Are they still mad at me?" she asked.

"No Ness. They're mad at...the situation," Rosalie amended.

"I'm sorry if I worried you. It's just that Jacob left and I just...lost it."

Extreme distaste appeared on Rosalie's face. Of course the dog had something to do with it. All instances of Renesmee's misery could always be traced back to the fleabag. The very idea of him being anywhere near her niece incensed Rosalie, no matter how many times Emmett insisted that Jacob and Renesmee were none of their business. Rosalie had watched Jacob and Renesmee during the birthday party, the change in their relationship had been clear. The way that he had held her against his body, as if she could not stand alone, the way that he had touched her; his scent lingered on Renesmee. Rosalie's lip curled again in aversion, but her concern for her niece outweighed it.

"You should sleep. I'll stay with you," Rosalie said softly.

Renesmee did not want to sleep, but she was tired and she determined that sleep might alleviate some of the pain she was feeling. She knew, however, that when she woke, it would return tenfold. She did not protest when Rosalie placed her back into the bed, and tucked her in gently. Rosalie sat back down beside Renesmee and stroked her hair. Within minutes, her niece fell asleep.

Seth listened to Jacob's thoughts. They revolved around one thing and one thing only: Renesmee. He listened as Jacob relived the snatched moments he had spent with Renesmee at the party. Seth knew that Jacob wanted to fight against what he was thinking and feeling, but the thoughts ran unbidden through his mind as the pack sped on endlessly beneath the dark canopy of the forest. Seth knew that Jacob was liable to rip them all to shreds if they revealed any conscious response to his thoughts and feelings; both Quil and Embry had guarded their thoughts and they made no response to Jacob's. Seth concentrated on the sound of the wolves' progress through the forest.

Jacob pressed forward, trying to outrun the pack and the pain of leaving Renesmee behind. He tried desperately to banish all thoughts of her from his mind, but that only caused them to manifest more potently. He felt her, despite the distance that they had travelled from the house. He felt her misery and her pain and they added to the depth and the agony of his own. Her face, the way that she had looked at him so bravely, pushing aside her feelings to make it easier for him.

"_Jake...please don't kill me...but I'm sorry man...I hate that you feel like this," came Seth's thoughts._

Jacob did not become angry when he heard Seth's thoughts. Instead, he felt a modicum of relief - something to distract him from his all-encompassing thoughts.

"_Thanks kid...you feeling tired?"_

"_Naaah I'm ok...I can keep going. I don't know about those two wimps though..."_

"_Screw you Seth," groused Embry. _

There was silence for a moment.

"_Look, I'm sorry...about the thoughts. I don't mean to-" Jacob began._

"_Hey boss..." Quil cut into Jacob's thoughts, "Don't even sweat it; you're our brother. If you feel pain, we feel pain, that's how it is. You'd do the same for us..."_

Renesmee woke again late in the morning. The Jacob-shaped-hole throbbed instantly and insistently from the moment she opened her eyes, just as she had expected. She sucked in a breath determined that she would not allow the emptiness she felt to defeat her. She had to remain strong, if she allowed herself to wallow in the misery, he would hear it in her voice. She would make him feel guilty. She resolved to hold the misery at arms length; at least until she was alone, in her bed at night, then, she decided, she could feel however she wanted to. Renesmee turned her head to the side and looked at the LED on her alarm clock, 11:45 it announced. She burrowed under the warm duvet, back into the reassuring darkness that lay beneath it. She closed her eyes and tried desperately to remember each detail of the night before: the feel of his arms, his lips... A knock at her bedroom door jerked her from her reverie. She emerged reluctantly from beneath the fantasy duvet,

"Hey!" she called out.

The door opened cautiously, the person seemingly unsure of whether to enter. Renesmee waited patiently until the person made a decision. Moments later, her father stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him, a look of discomfort clouded his features. Renesmee watched him in silence as he idled by the door, running his hand through his hair distractedly. He looked at her, clearly about to say something, but then, apparently having decided against it, he looked away just as quickly. She continued to watch him until he turned to her again,

"Renesmee...are you alright?"

She heard the worry that he tried to disguise, she felt a twinge of guilt at being the cause of his discomfort,

"I'm fine Dad."

"Last night...well, you weren't fine. When I saw you, lying on that floor..." his voice broke and she was beside him in an instant. She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

"I'm ok Daddy...please don't worry about me."

"But I do worry Renesmee, when I see what he...what being bonded to him does to you."

Her arms dropped from around him. In her current mood, the last thing that she needed was a confrontation with her father about Jacob.

"Please don't Dad, it wasn't his fault."

Edward ran a hand down her bronze ringlets, his hand rested on her shoulder and he looked intently into her eyes.

"It wasn't his fault," she insisted, "He did nothing wrong."

"He could have done things a little differently."

"How, Dad? It was obvious that you didn't want him here – Mom was no better."

"He shouldn't have come," Edward said evenly.

Renesmee stared at her father, disbelief written across her face,

"_Shouldn't have come_ - Dad, do you want me to be miserable?"

"No Renesmee, of course not. But you are miserable now...because of him."

"I'm miserable because I'm _without_ him Dad, not because of anything that he's done! Why can't you just try to understand, Jake loves me."

Edward's eyes narrowed,

"I know exactly what he's thinking Renesmee...it isn't always that innocent."

"Ugh Dad...come on!"

"It's too much...it's too much, too soon. You are not ready for this...for what he wants. You're a child..."

"I'm pretty much as old as I'm ever going to get!"

"Don't be so absurd Renesmee! You're a child, maybe not physically, but you have barely lived for seven years...you know nothing of the world."

Despite her anger, Renesmee knew her father was incorrect – she was not a child, physically or mentally. He knew, as did everyone who knew her, that she developed mentally and physically at an accelerated rate. She had more emotional intelligence and understanding of the world than her entire class combined. Probably more than most human adults did, in fact. She understood things that she should not have been aware of given her age. At the back of her mind, she even understood why her father had begun to act this way, but in the moment, she said,

"Did Mom know all about the world when she met you?"

"Your mother was seventeen! She had lived for seventeen years. You know perfectly well that your line of argument is ridiculous and flawed Renesmee!"

"It is not!" she responded hotly, her voice rising.

"I'm not discussing this Renesmee. Jacob is no good for you right now. You need time to mature. Speak to him if you must, but there will be no more visits – on either side!"

"You can't do that!" Renesmee wailed.

"I can and I will!"

Renesmee glared furiously at her father,

"You really don't care if I'm ever happy again do you?" her voice shook with pent up emotion.

"Don't be ludicrous!" he said, but his eyes betrayed ruefulness, despite the strength of his tone.

"I can't believe..." she trailed off; she could not find the words. She searched his eyes, pleading silently with him. But he remained resolved, he stood as still as stone, "I'll never forgive you for this..." she said in a small voice.

Edward closed his eyes as her words hit him like a nuclear blast. He felt a gust of air rush across his face as she ran out of the room, her thoughts filled with extreme ire. At that moment he wished that he could switch off his gift, that he could not hear his daughter's thoughts. He doubted neither the conviction of her words or her feelings.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Monday morning found Renesmee cast back into her usual routine. The two key differences: the Jacob sized hole had gotten larger, the ache more palpable; she was not speaking to her father. She drove her car past the Juneau-Douglas high school gates and scanned the student car-park for a space. There was a space beside Devon Hayes' Audi. Renesmee groaned internally; Devon had been one of the girls desperate to get to grips with Jacob's anatomy at the party. Renesmee scowled as she remembered and pulled the silver Volvo into the space. She killed the engine and sighed, reaching for her rucksack. A tap at the driver's window caused her to look up, Devon beamed at her through the glass. Renesmee forced a smile and moved her hand to the door handle, Devon stepped back so that she could open the door. As soon as she exited the car she was assailed by Devon's excited chatter.

"Renesmee! Great party...everyone's talking about it!"

Renesmee smiled at the girl, she wasn't so bad – she was actually pretty decent. She deserved Renesmee's kindness, regardless of the turmoil that raged inside of her.

"Hey, Devon – glad that you enjoyed it."

Devon linked arms with her as Renesmee turned and began to head towards the school's main building. She chattered about the party, what everyone had been wearing, the music, how cool Alice seemed. Renesmee smiled but made no reply. Devon had been what you would call a friend ever since Renesmee had joined the high school and Renesmee liked her, truly, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not engage on the same level as Devon or any of the other girls in her classes. They had reached the lockers. Renesmee entered the combination and opened the cool metal door to retrieve her copy of _1984_. When she closed it, Devon smiled,

"So?" she said.

"What?" Renemsee responded.

"Oh come on Renesmee...who was that guy at your party...drool worthy..."

A feeling that could only be described as possessiveness took hold of Renesmee's system,

"A friend." she lied.

"A _friend_? Please - he was like clearly obsessed with you. He totally ignored every other girl there."

Renesmee detected a hint of envy in Devon's tone. She did not like it; this was the sort of thing that she consistently endeavoured to avoid. Besides, she did not want to talk about Jacob – talking about him was a reminder of his absence and whenever she was reminded of that, the pain she felt would increase ten-fold and the pull between them would protest loudly. She did not want to talk about him, but she knew that Devon would not let up. If she gave Devon something to pacify her she would at least shut up for a while and then the other girls would leave her alone because Devon would relay every little morsel of information back to them. Renesmee met her eyes,

"He's a friend from back in Forks."

"What kind of friend? The way he was holding you...and he wouldn't dance with anyone else."

"Ok...maybe slightly more than a friend," Renesmee admitted blushing.

"I knew it!" Devon exclaimed, "Gayle said there was no way 'cause he's clearly older than us...how old is he?"

"He's nineteen, nearly twenty."

"He looks way older...like twenty five or something...how cool are your parents letting you see him?"

Renesmee winced internally. Her parents...Devon was talking about Carlisle and Esme of course. It simply was not plausible to expect people to believe that Bella and Edward were her parents, not when they appeared to be the same age as her. The Cullens had concocted a new story on their arrival at Juneau: the good doctor Carlisle Cullen and his beautiful wife, Esme had adopted all of these teenagers. They were all, bar Renesmee, college students. She was Edward's little sister – their resemblance was too uncanny to be explained away.

"Yes...my parents are really cool..." Renesmee smiled weakly.

"So, how long have you been going with him?"

"We aren't...it's complicated."

"'Cause he lives so far?"

"Yes."

"But he is pretty much your boyfriend right?" Devon asked eagerly.

"Yes...he's my boyfriend."

If only Devon knew how insufficient that word was for describing who Jacob was in her life and what he meant to her. Soul-mate, life companion, kindred spirit, one true love and any other number of terms would have been closer to the truth than plain old 'boyfriend'. The word implied a degree of frivolity and temporariness. Jacob was forever to her.

"You are so lucky...he is totally hot. I think pretty much every girl at the party was scoping him out...is he at college?"

Renesmee recovered herself from the idea that every girl at her party, many of them purporting to be her friends, had been lusting after Jacob and said,

"Yes, he studies in Port Angeles."

Devon looked disappointed. Renesmee knew that her answers bordered on the robotic, they gave little away. Devon wanted details, but Renesmee could not find it in herself to confide as much as she wanted to. She would never be able to convey to Devon who Jacob was and how she felt about him. Besides, there was a part of her that wanted to keep what they shared a secret – a world that only existed between the two of them. Revealing it to anyone else felt as though she would be cheapening it.

"And his name is..."

"Jacob. Jacob Black." Renesmee's heart pounded at the verbalisation of his name. She wondered where he was. Would he be back in La Push, at college, still travelling? The dull throbbing that went to her core increased. No matter where he was, she was not there with him and if her father had his way, she wouldn't be for a long time to come, "Come on, we're going to be late" she said and ushered Devon in the direction of their literature class. Devon pouted, clearly put out that she would not be discovering anything more about Jacob Black.

* * *

The day dragged on and Renesmee oscillated between only two topics in her internal monologue: Jacob and her father, her father and Jacob. At the front of the classroom, Mr Mahoney droned on about simultaneous equations, showing the class how to work through some of the problems that he'd sprung on them in a pop-quiz as they had entered the afternoon class. Renesmee knew that all of her answers were correct. They always were. With the exception of literature, she put little effort into any of her classes. To her teachers, the pretty bronze haired girl was disengaged entirely from the content of the classes she took and the lives and interests of the classmates that surrounded her; but they let that slide. Every piece of work that she had ever handed in was of exceptional quality – her intelligence and aptitude startlingly clear, and she was good at sports – the best cross country runner the school had ever seen. They put her disengagement down to the fact that school held little challenge for her; she would excel in college, they were sure.

Renesmee doodled in the margins of her notebook; the stars that she had been drawing had morphed into little wolves, then a ring, remarkably like the one that she wore on her left hand. The memory of Jacob giving her the ring, the way that he had kissed her and touched her bloomed in her mind. Unthinking, she placed her left hand on the notebook and looked at the ring. The strangled gasp beside her jerked her out of the memory. She looked up and turned her head swiftly to her right. Devon sat and stared at the ring, her right hand covered her mouth. She looked as though she might burst. Renesmee pulled her hand from the notebook as if she'd been scalded, placing it on her left knee beneath the desk.

"Is there a problem Ms. Hayes?" Mr Mahoney asked from the front of the classroom.

"No," Devon answered in a strained voice, "No, sorry sir, no problem."

Mr Mahoney nodded then shook his head a little, _teenage girls_... Devon waited until he had begun to explain simultaneous equations again, then she ripped a sheet from her own notebook and started scribbling frantically. Renesmee groaned internally, she should have taken the ring off or at least have moved it to her right hand. Devon had failed to see it that morning because the sleeve of her coat had covered it. She held her breath and waited for Devon to finish scribbling. Moments later, she passed the folded paper with as much stealth as a rhinoceros, her skin glowing with the satisfaction of having discovered a scoop of epic proportions. Renesmee unfolded the paper and read the rounded handwriting:

**OMG! That ring is freaking gorgeous – did JB give it to u?**

Renesmee resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She could have kicked herself for being so reckless. She had no choice, she would have to tell Devon the truth. She picked up her pen and wrote:

_Yes._

She should have known that this would not suffice for Devon.

**So y did he give it to u?**

_Birthday gift_

**Who gives a ring like that for a birthday gift? Y r u wearing it on that finger?**

_Because it fits_

**Tell me!**

_Because it fits._

**Coz he's in love with u or something. Boys don't give rings for no reason. He's totally serious about u. U r soooo lucky!**

Mr Mahoney looked up at them and Renesmee breathed an internal sigh of relief,

"Am I going to have to send you to the principal Ms. Hayes?" he asked sternly.

"No sir..."

"Then start working through the problems on page twenty of your textbook. Now!"

Devon obeyed immediately; Renesmee screwed up the notebook paper and put it in the pocket of her jeans. There would be no more discussion in that lesson.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Later that day, Renesmee jogged around the running track. By her count she had completed thirteen laps and was approaching the fourteenth. The next cross country meeting loomed ahead of her. A few weeks ago the thought of that competition, no matter how one-sided it was, would have excited her. Now, conversely, all that she thought about as she ran around the track was her father; she had managed to suppress thoughts of Jacob, for now. She had not seen or spoken to her father since the argument in her bedroom; both he and Bella had left early on Monday morning to spend some time in another area of Alaskan forest and hunt. Renesmee picked up her pace as she remembered the conversation that she had had with her mother that very morning.

_Bella had slipped into Renesmee's room as the sun attempted to rise over the chilly waters of the lake. She had hesitated, unsure of whether or not to wake her daughter and still undecided had watched her child sleep. She had watched as Renesmee's nose wrinkled in distaste at something that she saw in her dreams and smiled when the girl threw herself onto her back, her right arm thrown over her head into the softness of the pillows. Bella loved to watch Renesmee sleep – it was an aspect of her humanity that she dearly missed. She gazed in wonder at her daughter's beauty, at her resemblance to her father; then a frown creased her perfect brow. Renesmee's father. Renesmee's father had been sitting dejected in their room for what seemed like an eternity, ever since his argument with their daughter. He was distraught and consumed by his belief that slowly, his own child, the only child he would ever have, was slipping from his grasp and that he was the chief architect in the resentment and growing discord that existed between them. _

_Bella's eyes flickered to the far wall of Renesmee's bedroom. The entire wall, floor to ceiling had been turned into shelving to house Renesmee's numerous books; but dotted here and there in silver frames or stuck to the woodwork were pictures. The pictures varied in size, colour and setting, but each one focused on the same subject or subjects: Jacob, alone or Jacob and Renesmee, together. She glided silently over to the bookshelf and reached out to touch one of the pictures: Jacob beamed out of the photograph, mid-laugh while an enamoured Renesmee looked up at him from her comparably diminutive height, her arms thrown around his black t-shirt clad waist. She moved to another: a candid shot, Jacob sat on the floor of his father's garage, car parts surrounded him, he looked down at a twisted piece of metal, a puzzled expression on the visible portion of his face. In another, a more recent photograph, a 'fifteen' year old Renesmee hugged Jacob tightly, her face turned to the side, his right arm held her across the backs of her shoulders, his left rested gently on the back of her bronze curls. Neither of them looked at the camera – Renesmee's eyes were squeezed shut but his were focused on her. In his eyes was a depth of emotion and feeling that Bella did not think she had ever seen present in his eyes before. She had never seen him look like that. An unwelcome sensation pervaded her being and she turned away from the bookshelf and made her way to Renesmee's bedside. She crouched down by her daughter's head and stroked back the hair that had fallen onto her face._

"_Renesmee...it's time to get up," she said softly. _

_Renesmee stirred in her sleep and Bella placed a kiss on her warm forehead. Her eyelids fluttered slightly, then Bella could see her own eyes attempting to focus in the morning light. _

"_Mom?" Renesmee whispered, sleepily._

"_Over here..." Bella laughed lightly. _

_Renesmee turned her head and catching sight of her mother, she smiled taking Bella's breath away,_

"_Hey Mom, what's happening?"_

"_I wanted to come and say goodbye...we're leaving in a minute to go hunting."_

"_But you'll be back later?"_

_Bella frowned a little,_

"_No – I was planning on getting your Dad to stay in Yakatut for a few days...a bit of a break..."_

"_From me." Renesmee finished._

"_No! Not a break from you Ness...but I thought that it might do you both some good to have a bit of distance."_

_Renesmee looked away from her mother and up towards the ceiling, willing her tears not to come. When she hadn't responded moments later, Bella said quietly, _

"_I wish that you'd try to see things a little more from your Dad's perspective. He isn't trying to ruin your life Ness...he loves you, he just wants you to have a chance at a life that neither he nor I had. He just wants you to be a kid."_

"_And being a kid means that Jacob can't figure in my life?"_

"_No. But he's scared that you're growing up too fast Renesmee. This whole thing with Jacob is moving pretty fast you have to admit...I mean the ring..."_

"_Of course Dad clocked that."_

"_Yes."_

_Renesmee smiled wryly, no wonder he'd gone off the deep end. _

"_He's concerned that if you and Jake don't put a little space between you that you could both end up committing to things and doing things that you're not ready for..."_

"_Oh god..." Renesmee wailed as comprehension dawned on her, "He thinks that we're going to..."_

_She could not bring herself to finish the sentence, she felt too mortified. Her mother squeezing her hand was confirmation of the thought,_

"_He isn't trying to hurt you..."_

_Renesmee turned her face to her mother, _

"_Mom...I really don't want to talk about this...but Jake and I...we are so not even..."_

"_You seemed pretty close with each other at the party," Bella stated, then watched as Renesmee turned a startling shade of cherry red, "Your father can hear everything that you think..."_

"_Don't remind me!" Renesmee cut in unthinkingly._

"_He heard what was going through your mind...Jake's mind."_

_Renesmee closed her eyes in embarrassment,_

"_Please Mom...I don't want to discuss this. Nothing is going to happen between Jake and I...not in that way. Besides he's in La Push."_

"_But he's coming back at the end of the week."_

"_No, he isn't! Dad said that he couldn't visit anymore and that I couldn't go to La Push. And now I know why...Dad thinks we're just going to run off and do it as soon as Jake gets here!"_

"_No. But he can see the direction that things are moving in and Jake coming here will just...make things more...tempting."_

_Renesmee rolled her eyes and huffed,_

"_He's being ridiculous and unfair!"_

"_He's hurting Ness...he loves you so much and he feels like you resent him."_

_Renesmee's heart skipped a beat at that news,_

"_I don't resent him Mom, I don't; really. It's just that it would be nice if every thought I ever had wasn't listened to, logged and analysed. I just wish he'd butt out sometimes...he can't run my life...no one ran his – or yours!"_

"_Renesmee..." Bella sighed and Renesmee knew what was coming, the same old justification that her parents' situation had been different. It fell on deaf ears as Renesmee tuned out. Her parents' situation had not been different, it had been much the same, they had fallen in love with one another and essentially done everything they could to be together as far as she knew. How were she and Jacob any different? She feigned attentiveness until her mother was satisfied. Bella kissed her on the cheek and then left. _

* * *

It was dusk by the time Renesmee returned home from cross-country training. As she pulled up in the driveway, she saw Jasper. He sat in the large cream wicker loveseat in the corner of the porch reading. He looked up as she killed the engine and a smile curved his lips.

"Hey Jazz," Renesmee called, as she exited the car and grabbed her rucksack.

He was at her side instantaneously; he wrapped a reassuring arm around her and pulled her into his chest. His scent was comforting and familiar, she felt instantly better for having him in such close proximity. A mellow sensation suddenly pervaded her body and she felt the tension in her sinews loosen and relax its hold on her. She hadn't realised until that moment, but she had been wound tight since Jacob had left to return to La Push; for the first time she felt some relief. She had always been Jasper's favourite, bar Alice; Renesmee and Jasper had an affinity and an understanding of one another that she did not share with any other member of her family – not even her parents.

"You're down darlin'" he said softly, "Anything I can do to help?"

She pulled away a little from his hug and looked up at him,

"Sit with me awhile?"

He nodded, releasing her and then followed her back up the porch stairs to the wicker loveseat. They sat for many minutes in companionable silence, watching the vivid pinks and oranges of the autumn sky. Renesmee laid her head on Jasper's solid right shoulder and sighed.

"Ready to talk darlin'?" he smiled.

He felt her nod,

"I just...I don't know, I just can't seem to do anything right. As far as Dad's concerned anyway," she began.

"This about Jacob?"

He felt her nod again, she sighed heavily and he worked a little harder on softening the atmosphere around them, stemming the melancholy feelings that had begun to engulf her.

"Daddy just can't understand how I feel...it's not like I can help it, I'm in love with Jake."

"Is that so?"

"Come on Jazz, don't kid around – I know you know – everyone who lives here has crazy hearing, remember?"

"I sure do – but I thought I'd keep up the pretence that some things are new to me!" he chuckled.

Renesmee smiled,

"No need. I'm used to it"

"I know it."

"Do you see it from my side? Even a little?"

"Sure I can see it from your side Nessie" he soothed reassuringly and she waited for the 'but', but it never came: the attempt to justify her parents' feelings. She really should have known better, that justification would never come from Jasper, he always took her side – defended her, saw things from her perspective, much to Edward's annoyance. Jasper was her staunchest supporter, "You love Jake, he loves you and that's all either of you can see, it's pretty simple..."

"Then why can't my Dad see it that way...or Mom?"

"Because you're their kid, kinda means they're programmed to protect you, I guess."

"Protect me from what?" Renesmee exclaimed, "Jake? It isn't like he wants to kill me!"

"Not literally..." Jasper replied and his thoughtful tone caused Renesmee to lift her head from his shoulder and look at him.

"What do you mean, not literally?"

"Well y'know kid, even though Jake doesn't want to kill you literally, the way that the two of you feel about one another, what that's going to mean at some point down the line, _is_ a death of sorts – to your Mom and Dad anyway."

"I won't be their little girl anymore." Renesmee stated.

"No. You won't need them anymore either," Jasper added.

Renesmee did not respond; she laid her head back against Jasper's shoulder and watched as the inky night sky spread its way across the pink dusk.


	9. Chapter 9

**Note: Sorry for the delay. I know how irritating it is when you are following a story. **

**Chapter 9**

Later that evening, Renesmee sat in the centre of her bed. Numerous papers were spread out all across the snowy white comforter, a copy of _Paradise Lost_, personal reading, a dog-eared copy of _Dr. Faustus_, for an assignment. She was engrossed, English Literature was her favourite subject and she was determined to produce a comparative study the likes of which Ms. Trevelyan had never seen before. Despite that, when the mobile phone beside her left foot began to ring; literature was forgotten. Her left hand shot out, lifted the phone to her ear and accepted the call simultaneously.

"Hello?" she answered.

"So, on a scale of one to ten – how stoked are you about seeing me in three days and nineteen hours?"

The voice was achingly familiar; its rich, presumptuous tones reached her ear and caused her heart to skip a beat. Her entire body was suddenly saturated with a warm tingling sensation: absolute contentment; unadulterated happiness. She dropped the pen she held in her right hand and flopped back onto the mound of pillows behind her. Her eyes became entirely unfocused as she left the confines of her bedroom and drifted off into a dream world that contained only two key inhabitants: herself and the man at the other end of the phone.

"Are you gonna answer the question Ness?" he teased.

She tried to keep from giving herself away, from screaming her excitement at the sound of his voice. Devon had been entirely wrong – an interchangeable boyfriend could never inspire this kind of feeling, only a kindred spirit could cause this depth of emotion. She could not form words,

"Ness, honey, are you there?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"Are you stoked?" he smiled, "'Cause I can't wait to see you baby...can't wait to hold you."

"Yeah?" she grinned.

"Oh yeah..." he replied in honeyed tones.

She was about to ask him what else he couldn't wait to do, when an unpleasant memory assailed the ecstasy she had been basking in. Her father's pronouncement with regards to the two of them meeting, in person, landed on her like a rock that had fallen onto a fragile glass orb. Its destruction was absolute and far reaching: _Speak to him if you must, but there will be no more visits – on either side!_ It stopped her dead, her lips closed, unable to articulate the response she wanted to give to Jacob.

"Ness...honey, you sure everything's ok?" she heard Jacob ask worriedly.

She stifled the angry tears that stung the backs of her eyes,

"No. No...everything's not ok Jake. Not even a little."

"Did I do something?" he asked tentatively.

"No," she replied quickly, "No! Of course not...you're perfect." She blushed at the disclosure, his ego swelled, "It isn't you Jake; it's my Dad."

She heard him exhale a long breath to calm himself,

"What now?" he growled.

"We had this huge fight...about us...the usual."

"He's still pissed?"

"Epically."

"And?"

Jacob felt his heart constrict in his chest as he waited for Renesmee to respond. The change in her tone had been telling, whatever her father had had to say had to be bad; really bad. He held his breath.

"He said...scratch that, he pretty much ordered me not to visit you in La Push...and you can't come here either, for the foreseeable future..." Renesmee trailed off and waited for the explosion from Washington. She was not disappointed.

"HE SAID WHAT?!" Jacob bellowed. Renesmee winced and held the phone away from her ear a little, "WHERE THE HELL DOES HE GET OFF?!THIS IS BULL! Y'KNOW I'M NOT GONNA LISTEN TO HIM RIGHT? I'M COMIN' ON FRIDAY AND YOU CAN TELL HIM I COULD CARE LESS WHAT HE THINKS! YOU'RE MY GIRL NESS, **NO ONE** IS GONNA KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU!"

"Jake!" she cut in, "You have to calm down, you have to!"

He heard her and he fell silent, because it was Renesmee that had asked him and there was nothing that he would not do for her; but internally he seethed with burning anger at Edward, at his audacity. He could barely believe that the bloodsucker thought that he would get away with this latest outrage – that he thought that Jacob would even heed the warning. There was no way. He felt an ire filled shudder run down the length of his spine and he fought to keep from phasing in the middle of his bedroom. He listened to Renesmee's lyrical voice, to the despair that tinged it and as he did so, the machinations of his mind began to tick over; if Edward insisted on keeping Renesmee under lock and key, Jacob knew what he would have to do.

"I'll talk to him again. Maybe Jasper can help, he gets it...he said as much. Jake...I can't live like this...I _have_ to see you, talking to you on the phone like this isn't enough..."

"I know, honey...I know it. I'm gonna come to Juneau anyway..."

"Jake, you can't! He'll blow something. Please? I want to be able to see you again soon, if you come on Friday, it'll just make things worse."

"Worse for who?" Jacob asked bitterly.

"_Please_ baby..." she pleaded and her use of the endearment arrested his attention, it was heartfelt and he could tell that she was on the verge of tears, pulled taut between her loyalty to her father and to himself. He relented enough to sooth her.

"Ok...I won't just bowl in there...I promise. But Ness, we can't leave things like this, we have to see each other, I feel like I'm bein' ripped apart here."

"Me too," she sighed miserably, "Look, they're back in a few days; I'll talk to Dad, try and get him to loosen up..."

"What's the likelihood?" Jacob quipped sarcastically, "Your Dad isn't exactly a laidback kinda guy, Ness."

"Please. Let me try?"

"Sure sure – but it's not like we don't already know what his answer's gonna be."

"Jake, this is hard enough..." Renesmee said and her voice broke a little on the last word. Jacob felt immediately guilty,

"I'm sorry baby, honest. Try talking to him if you think it'll help. But if it doesn't, I'm coming to get you."

"Jake..."

He cut her off,

"I'll come and get you."

His tone was adamant, Renesmee realised that arguing would be futile. She turned her eyes up to the ceiling and hoped that she could make her father see sense before Jacob did something that blew the whole situation sky high.


End file.
